Miracle Cure! How to fix your difficult child overnight.

As someone who works on parent-child relationships, the most common question I get asked by parents is along the lines of, “Can you please fix my child, they are …………………… (difficult, horrible, problematic, disrespectful, nasty, defiant, uncooperative etc). Fortunately, years of working through issues such as these has taught me a virtually perfect, almost instantaneous, fix and it is far easier for parents to make happen than you might think………………

change yourself, or more precisely, change the way you interact with your child. The psychology behind it is pretty simple and hard to argue against. We are all the products of the sum of our experiences. That means the things that we experience in life teach us to behave a certain way in a certain situation. We behave that way because that serves our lives best. Here’s the kicker ……….. as the grown up, we have been in control of the relationship between us and our child since day one. If they behave a certain way when interacting with us, it is because we have taught them that is okay to do. I know nobody wants to create a child that they struggle to deal with, but the process is undeniable. We learn how to behave, in the same way we learn everything else – through our experiences.

So, in short, if your child is not behaving as you would like, there is something in their perception of their world that is making them believe that behaviour is the right thing for them to do at the time. Your task is to find out what that perception is and change it. That perception may be the result of a complex mix of lots of different things, some of which may not even pertain directly to you, but in the vast majority of cases it’s not. Mostly, children behave a certain way with their parents because direct experience has taught them that they can. That is, what you have done as the parent has taught them that it is okay for them to do what they do as the child. Now, you might say, “but I have made it very clear that it is not okay -  I’ve told them it’s not okay, I’ve asked them to change, I’ve threatened them, I’ve punished them.” But, if they continue to behave the same way, clearly you haven’t changed their perception – behaving that way remains the right thing for them to do in that situation. You have to change your approach, and once you have the right approach, the rest can fall into place virtually immediately.

If you would like some tips on how to work out what your child’s perceptions are or how to change the way that you interact please use the form on our website to book a free 15 minute, no-obligation phone call within which I am happy to give you the very best of advice I can for your situation. It may be that is all you need to make a huge difference and, if that was the case, I would be delighted.

It is the reason I do what I do.