Kids and household chores - how to make them work for everybody

Should your kids be doing chores?

The answer is yes. Yes, yes and yes again. Your kids should help with the household chores. It is good because otherwise you have to do it all. It is good because it teaches them the importance of making a contribution. It binds the family together because it is something that we all contribute to. It gives them a sense of satisfaction when they get things done. It is good for their sense of competence and their self-esteem and it is good for teaching life skills.

The key is to start young.

The longer you wait, the more difficult it is likely to be to get them to contribute in any sort of meaningful and consistent way. Not to say that it can’t be done and it is important that it is done, but you get better effect with much less effort when they are little.

So, how early? As soon as they are old enough to understand that toys might get broken if they are left on the floor, they are old enough to put them away. In the early years of primary school they are old enough to make their bed, put dirty clothes in the washing basket, water some plants and do a lot of the pet care. They can also help with dinner – initially, getting stuff out of the cupboard, doing some mixing, then peeling some vegetables, then chopping them. Eminent family relations psychologist, Dr. Michael Carr-Gregg believes that by the time they are 14 they should be cooking the family meal once a week. Certainly, it is a great life skill for them to have. If that is to happen, they need to build the knowledge and skills required to cook a whole meal over a period of years. You can’t just wait for the Sunday after their 14th birthday and demand a roast lunch.

In getting started it is important to remember that we are all creatures of habit.

The things we always do, we do as a matter of course, generally without issue. So, if your child is accustomed to keeping their room clean and making their bed before they come down to breakfast, then that is what they will do. We just have to get them into the habit. Initially, that will generally require that they come to understand that it is easily doable and, if we can make it a bit of fun at the start, that will help too. So be prepared to help them get the job done in the early days; have a competition to see who can pick up the most items of clothing or challenge them to do it all within a minute, then 45 seconds. 

Other things are add a new chore for each child at the start of each school year. It needn’t be a big thing, but something to reflect their increasing maturity and skills. There is nothing wrong with them doing chores they like, so, where possible, let them choose.  Chores can be swapped for other chores and if you do a chore for them every now and again as a sign of your appreciation for the wonderful job that they are doing, that’s a good thing. On that point, showing them your appreciation for them continuing to do the right thing remains the best way to get them to continue to do the right thing. A ‘well done’ or a ‘I am so proud of the way you ….’ Is great incentive for them to keep up the good work.

If you’d like to know more about setting your household up for success, book a free 15 minute, no-obligation phone call within which I am happy to give you the very best of advice I can for your situation. It may be that is all you need to make a huge difference and, if that was the case, I would be delighted.

It is the reason I do what I do.