If your child is to learn, you have to teach. Here’s how…

By now, just about everybody will have heard the play on words that to ASSUME is to ‘make an ASS out of U and ME’ and be familiar with message that underpins it: That, to assume just creates the opportunity for one or both of us to make mistakes. It highlights the dangers of assumptions.

It unfortunately, doesn’t stop us making them.

This is often the case with our kids. We assume, for a host of reasons, that they will know what is right and they will do what is right. We assume that they will have picked things up by living in our house, or going to school or just through common sense. But they may not know and they may not do unless they have been specifically taught. So, here are some tips on teaching from an old teacher.

Firstly, it is important to understand that you have a limited time to get your message across, so make every word count.

One theory puts a child’s concentration span at 3 minutes plus their age (for things that they are not inherently interested in). Another says that you have about 2 sentences when talking to your teenager before they start to lose focus. So get the important stuff out early.

Next, is give them a reason to want to listen -  a motivated learner is a good learner.

So, “I want to talk to you about ………………………..  because ……………………. “ is a good start. Then ask questions as you go to get their input (and check that they are still paying attention)

Most critically, it is important to understand that just because you have told them once, it does not mean they have learnt it. As a teacher, if I am teaching Trigonometry and after one lesson they haven’t got it, I don’t punish them or give up trying.

What you have said may not get ingrained for a host of reasons, including that they didn’t understand exactly what is required of them or why it is required, they may need to practice it, or it just may be difficult to make the appropriate adjustments at their developmental stage. Whatever the reason, be patient and be prepared to continue to teach. Not necessarily right now but at another time, using different words or a different approach might be more effective.

So, let’s be clear. If your child continues to do what you consider to be the wrong thing, it is not because they are inherently evil or they are just doing it to annoy you, it just means that the right behaviour is not second nature to them…yet.

If you would like to know more about teaching and learning or patience or how not to lose your cool when they consistently do the wrong thing, you’re welcome to book a free 15 minute,  no-obligation phone call, during which which I am happy to give you the very best of advice I can for your situation. It may be that is all you need to make a huge difference and, if that was the case, I would be delighted.

It is the reason I do what I do.